There comes a time in the lives of seniors when it may be unsafe for them to remain at home. What are the signs that it may be time to look for alternatives to having a loved one living alone independently?
Red Flags You May Notice With Your Loved One
· They forget appointments / do not attend social events they usually attend, such as going out with friends, attending church, etc.
· Their hygiene is not as consistent as usual. They may be wearing the same clothes for several days.
· They sleep more than usual, and their sleep schedule may be altered. (Up all night and sleep during the day.)
· You may notice weight loss and suspect they are not eating routinely.
· They may be experiencing more falls.
Red Flags for the Caregiver
· They are not getting enough sleep.
· They had to give up a job to care for a loved one.
· They are not able to spend time with their family/friends. This may lead to stress in their marriage and problems with the children.
· They have no one to help carry the load.
· They are getting less patient with their loved ones.
· They are resenting, always having to provide care.
What Are My Options?
· Home Health Agency
· Adult Day Program
· Long Term care
Home Health Agency:
Benefits include but are not limited to:
· Having a caregiver who focuses on the care of your loved one. They can provide one-
on-one care that can allow your loved one to remain independent in their home.
· Sometimes, a senior is more comfortable with someone other than family providing personal care.
Some of the cons to bringing in a Home Health Agency include but are not limited to:
· Sometimes, the senior feels uncomfortable having a stranger enter their home.
· The cost of bringing in a home health agency is high and may not be an option for a
family.
Adult Day Programs can give the family a much-needed respite so they may continue to work or just have time to live their lives knowing their loved one is being cared for. I like the adult day program options and feel like they are a great option for many families and one of the most underutilized services out there.
Benefits of an Adult Day Program include but are not limited to:
· The senior can go from one to five days a week.
· They can go for a half day or full day (8 hours)
· Many adult day programs offer transportation to and from their site.
· Some adult day centers offer other services such as bathing, therapy, and doctor visits.
· Some adult day programs have programs tailored to individuals with dementia.
· Individuals who enjoy being around others, like the socialization offered by adult day programs.
· Some adult day programs, such as Medicaid and VA, have options to help with payment.
Long-term Care Communities may be the best option for someone when the needed care level cannot be safely provided in the home. One of the biggest obstacles with families looking into the long-term care option is that often, the parent made the child promise never to place them in a nursing home, and now they feel guilty and like they are breaking a promise they made to mom or dad. I hear this often from adult children when their loved one needs the specialized care of a long-term care community. This is what I share with them. When your parent made you promise not to place them in a nursing home, they were in good health, and you were young and did not understand the gravity of what they were asking you to do. It was not fair of them to ask you to make that promise. You did not give the illness to your loved one. They have now declined and cannot live safely alone. You have your own life to live, which includes your job, family, and children, and you don’t have to sacrifice them to care for your loved one. There comes a time when the most loving thing you can do is to place your loved one in a long-term care community and become their advocate.
When looking to place someone in a long-term care community, remember that assisted living communities and skilled nursing homes are businesses like any other business. They specialize in areas of care, and you need to make sure the home you are placing your loved one in can meet the specific needs of your loved one.
Palliative care is care given to improve a patient’s quality of life with a severe or life-threatening disease, such as cancer. Palliative care is an approach to care that addresses the person as a whole, not just their disease. The goal is to prevent or treat, as early as possible, the symptoms and side effects of the disease and its treatment, in addition to any related psychological, social, and spiritual problems. When Palliative care is chosen, the individual may still elect to seek aggressive treatments such as radiation or chemo.
Hospice Care: Increasingly, people are choosing hospice care at the end of life. Hospice care focuses on the care, comfort, and quality of life of a person with a severe illness who is approaching the end of life. When it’s not possible to cure the disease, or a patient chooses not to undergo aggressive treatments such as radiation or chemo, Hospice care may be the best option for the individual. Hospice care can be given in the individual’s home or a long-term care community, such as assisted living or skilled nursing homes.
When the time comes and your loved one needs additional care, the best rule of thumb is to take the least restrictive intervention possible. If they could benefit from home health or an adult day program and you can afford to place them there, try that first. Only put them in a long-term care community if the care level can only be met by placing them or if financially long-term placement is the best option.
Remember that you will also go through an adjustment period when your loved one's living situation changes. You may experience depression, anger, or anxiety as your loved one declines. You may be grieving the loss of the parent you always knew. You may experience a role reversal and now have to become the parent and take on the role of caring for them. Take a deep breath and be kind to yourself; you must allow yourself time to adjust.
Cheryl J. Wilson, M.S.
Advocacy 4 Seniors
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